Who is Heather on a Rock?

I was born in Corner Brook, Newfoundland on the first of August, 1982. I had to be delivered via C-section as I had positioned myself to greet the world ass-first.

Modern medicine has no sense of humour.

My mother describes the doctor laying me close to her face so she could look at me, but after several moments of my staring blankly at her, the doctor whisked me away. I think he feared possible brain-damage; turns out it was just my personality. In my unreliable remembrance of mom’s description, the doctor flicked my feet to make me cry. Which worked. And I’ve been a blubbering fool ever since. Mudder, bless ‘er heart, refused to breast feed me, as she thought it might make my sister, Jennifer – fifteen months my senior, plumped full o’ breast milk – jealous.

Hmph.

I don’t know why I feel those tidbits of my early times on earth will help you better understand me today. But I hope they do. I guess non-conventional somewhat describes me. And I use humour in essentially every situation, whether appropriate or not (luckily, I find, people like to be humoured).

And, of course, I’m resentful of breasts and fat babies.

I’m a Physiotherapist and improv mother by day, a writer and desperate thespian (thesperate despian?) by night. I’ve done a bit of professional theatre and some small tv roles. But I still fully plan on getting that big movie role one day. Sure, it may be written, directed and starred in by me (in my living room) but still… gonna be big.

I wanted to start this blog because: 1. It will force me to write. Writing is something I’ve always loved and am/was good at. But I keep excusing myself from doing it on account of “life” getting in the way. Well no more. This blog is my new motivation. And, 2. Throughout the day so much bizarre, funny (I think) stuff runs through my head. Countless everyday situations are hilarious! I spend a great deal of time grinning like an asshole about something funny that pops into my head. Hopefully my patients just think I’m really happy (which is not totally untrue).

Sometmes I use double negatives if I think it enhances a point.

And so my plan for this blog is stories, songs and pictures about things that strike me as odd, beautiful, hilarious and/or awful about life. And also videos of nonsense skits – my brain is full of ’em!

I’m doing this for me. But it would be a real treat if anything here made you smile too!

So…off we go!

Heather on a Rock